One equal temper of heroic hearts

I spent part of today trading e-mails with a guy I'm pretty sure I've been secretly in love with since we met at a party my first week of college. He's invited me to spend Labor Day weekend with him at his family's lake cottage and I'm trying to be all nonchalant, like, "Oh yeah, I get invited to lake houses by hot guys all the time; where's my regatta scarf?" when, on the inside I'm really all, "206 is the magic number, baby, because that's how many bones you have and that's how many I'm planning to jump."

My parents and I drove up to Valpo last weekend to move my stuff out of Todd's apartment. He was decent enough to break down most of the furniture and move it into the living room, but I still had a ton of books and brik-a-brak to box up. We filled a whole UHaul trailer with my half of the apartment. I'm not going to lie: it felt good to get my stuff out of there. Todd and I are on good terms and can carry on a civil conversation, but I think this last weekend made the break-up, well, real. I still felt like I had a link to my old life with all of my furniture and books in another place. Todd wasn't there, which was okay. He got a chance to go home to Fort Wayne to see friends and family and he took it, so my parents and I could come and go from the apartment as we pleased. It took about an hour and a half. The only time that I really got somewhat nostalgic was when I went through all of the LPs we'd bought together; I was sad to leave "Beggar's Banquet" and "The Stranger," but Todd had bought those on his own and it wasn't right for me to take them. I don't have a turntable to play them on anyway. I was able to move some small things back to my apartment: pictures, some glassware, other small items. I really feel like I'm making this apartment -- this town -- my new home. I finally got a gym membership (and am currently sweating it twice a week in Zumba classes) and found a classic rock station that comes in clear on my stereo. I'm happy in my job, happy with the friendships I'm making, and happy with the new creative opportunity in my novel project. Money's tight and I'll be happy when I will be able to stop paying rent-and-a-half for two apartments, but I'm nowhere near starving or deprived. I'm just learning how to manage my money and my time more effectively.

I'm not in any hurry to date again. I like the freedom that being single provides, and I have always been happy in my own company. I'm open to whatever comes next, but I also think that this time is an excellent opportunity for me to find out who I am and what I want in a partner. And there's no rush to figure out either of those things.

I think another_myself and I are going to watch an episode of Doctor Who together tonight. I can't wait until the second half of the series; it's in, like, two weeks, right? I NEED MY DOCTOR. I AM MARTHA JONESIN'.

ALSO. awesomesquared, I AM LOOKING AT YOU AND YOU KNOW WHY.