This journal has the emo

[katernater]

My neighbor is dead.

He was out cutting his grass tonight and they think he had a heart attack. He was 50. His wife pulled into the driveway after work and found him lying on the front lawn. They called EMS, tried to revive him, but he died in his front yard. It was a very well-manicured lawn.

I was there when it happened. Well, not there there. In my own driveway. I'd come downstairs to get a glass of water and saw lights outside. 'Went out and saw a whole phalanx of police cars, an ambulance and a fire truck clustered around the edge of the block. His family was hovering around the sidewalk. I couldn't see their faces, but I know how my face would have been composed. I watched this guy's wife walk into the middle of the street away from the EMTs, bow her head to her knees, and let out this terrible sound. One minute he was there, the next minute he wasn't. And you know, there wasn't anything really significant in that half a second between one and the other. No flash of lightning. No roll of thunder. God didn't stick his hand out of heaven and sweep him up, Swing Low Sweet Chariot-style.

It was just: quiet, then that sound.

Todd was there. We hugged. Made plans. 'Guy can't do either of those things anymore.

I came back inside and had a cookie. I figured, "Well, fuck living carefully now."

Weird. Weird is a good word for what that was.

Comments

[gleam.livejournal.com]

It's like we were talking about before - just one of those things about life. Those weird things about life that just can't have a lot said about them.

Life just goes by so quickly, and all we can do is make the most of it. As little negativity as possible, as many good experiences as we can, and..like I said before, I'm worried all of this sounds really hollow.

I'm glad Todd was there with you.

I love you, Kate. Life's definitely better with you in it.

[smurphy487.livejournal.com]

reading that makes me go -- fuck.

I get laughed at for it, but I always say I love you to my mom at the end of a phone call...always. The feeling is, you never know if you will get to say it again and that would be the last great thing for me to hear from her.

Okay that was sappy.

But since the fact that 6 weeks ago I was almost not on the face of the earth anymore -- I am learning to appreciate others and hold people close because you never know...I try to think how my family and friends would have dealt with it.

I wouldn't have my adorable fuzzies.

I have learned....live. just live.

That's right, Peanut.

[patchworkmind.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Mortality has an intriguing, if morbid, way of jumping up when you least expect it and slapping us in the face, as if to get our attention. Nobody wants to think about it otherwise. Hell, practically nobody under 50 has the time these days. I, however, have been contemplating it a lot recently, for reasons that aren't hard to figure. (Two liver transplants -- '92 & '99, chronic Hep B, no CMV seroconversion in 14 years, and I'll be 37 in less than two weeks.) I'm in absolutely smashing shape, all things considered, but...

One never knows. Ever. Not Miss Cleo. Not Sylvester Stallone's mom. Not any of Oprah's New Age Quasi-Feminist Pseudo-Spiritualist Mass Marketeers. I think Death probably operates more like Dead Like Me than even the writers can imagine. Anyway...

Living safely is something everyone should do. It's living stupidly is where most folks go wrong when trying to live "for the moment".

I've been contemplating a post on this very topic for a week or so, but it's been tough coming to it. There's never a good way to angle into it without being, as you said, emo, and I'm not one for emo if I can help it.

Sorry to hear about your neighbor. At least he went out doing what he enjoyed.

One of my great-[great?-]uncles died the same way. Precisely. He was 61, though. Back around 1960. Just doing some yardwork before lunch. Yup.

There's no telling.

[lissie-pissie.livejournal.com]

Wow. The circle of life is a strange thing. Life is strange, but somehow, death isn't. I guess. I don't know if this even makes sense. So I'll stop with that train of thought.

there wasn't anything really significant in that half a second between one and the other. No flash of lightning. No roll of thunder. God didn't stick his hand out of heaven and sweep him up, Swing Low Sweet Chariot-style.
I haven't really thought about this before. I really like how you phrased all of that. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'd rather go in something somewhat monumental, like a fire (okay maybe not. but you know what I mean) or a car accident, instead of just... dying.

My heart goes out to his wife and the rest of his family. I hope everyone in your neighborhood does okay with it too. From the sounds of it, you weren't too close to him, but it just threw you for a loop a little. Not even. It just made you think, as an occurance like that should. Try not to dwell on it too much - you've got a lot of life before you, methinks.

Enjoy your time with Todd. ♥. Make the most of it. ;)

[ami2024ever.livejournal.com]

Oh, Kate, I'm so sorry. Lots and lots of hugs and spilled ice cream. <3333333