Eventually, you learn what not to put in your mouth

'Toy contaminated with "date rape drug" pulled'

WHAT?

Man. When I was a kid? All we had to worry about was the ambiguous undercarriages of My Buddy and Kid Sister. Of course, toys got more sophisticated as we got older -- not that we got any smarter. I knew a kid in the seventh grade who had to go to the ER because he swallowed a Tamagotchi. Not surprisingly, by the time they pulled it out, his pocket monster had left little sculpted piles of crap all over the place and spoken to a lawyer about being emancipated.

Those were better, My Buddyer times.