The university thing is pretty sucky, but on the other hand you might not have missed much, because counselling regarding addiction issues is a specialist thing and you're probably better off having no counselling at all than going to someone who doesn't know what they're doing. In terms of support groups, as I'm sure you already know Al-Anon is the most obvious, and while obviously I don't know what your local group is like, the age thing might be less of an issue than you think as the groups tend to skew towards 20s/30s. This makes sense when you think about it: as you're finding, it's that age where these issues often start making themselves felt in terms of playing out patterns learned earlier. (I don't have first-hand experience of this, but my degrees are in psychology and I used to practice as a couples therapist. When addiction issues were relevant, I referred people on for the reason I mentioned above.)
In my previously professional opinion, support groups can be great, but counselling is also often useful as it approaches the problems from a different perspective. If you can swing it (and I know it can be expensive and that cost is an issue for struggling impoverished students), I'd recommend seeing someone who specialises in addiction issues - and if possible, take Todd with you for some sessions, since it's your life together that will be affected and the better prepared you both are, the better for your relationship. And if you can't afford it now, later's good too - it won't be Too Late.
BTW, I really admire you for recognising the problems and their effect on your life and relationship and your determination to minimise that harm. Your self-awareness in this area makes the outlook for your handling this, and the consequent effect on your relationship, very bright.
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:32 am (UTC)In my previously professional opinion, support groups can be great, but counselling is also often useful as it approaches the problems from a different perspective. If you can swing it (and I know it can be expensive and that cost is an issue for struggling impoverished students), I'd recommend seeing someone who specialises in addiction issues - and if possible, take Todd with you for some sessions, since it's your life together that will be affected and the better prepared you both are, the better for your relationship. And if you can't afford it now, later's good too - it won't be Too Late.
BTW, I really admire you for recognising the problems and their effect on your life and relationship and your determination to minimise that harm. Your self-awareness in this area makes the outlook for your handling this, and the consequent effect on your relationship, very bright.