With a thankful heart that is wide awake

So, that's that. My finals are in the bag and now it's in the hands of my professors and God (and one of my professors who thinks he's God) to see how this semester came out. After all that, there wasn't much of a fuss. I spent a couple of days in the library, working on take-home finals and getting acquainted with the crud in the community keyboards, then took my last in-class exam for Music & Psychology tonight. I don't want to jinx anything, but I feel really confident about the work I did and I think it's going to pay off. Summer classes start in a week and a half, so I have a little bit of downtime. Well, relatively speaking. I've got a bunch of errands to run this weekend and I have to prepare my presentation for next week's graduate symposium, but it's all gravy. I think I'd go crazy if there weren't a hundred things waiting for me in the wings.

I can't believe that I'm almost finished with my graduate degree. My whole life, I've been focused on actually getting a higher education and, now that I'm about to graduate, I'm really stuck for a new life goal. Todd and I have been giving some serious thought to teaching overseas for a year or two, and I would still really like to make a go for a Ph.D. I know that I want to stay close to the academic environment. I love being on campus, and I love interacting with other people who are as passionate about literature and writing as I am. I can't really see myself going back to a desk job but, then again, I never imagined I'd get so involved with TESOL, either. Life has a funny habit of putting itself in your path in the strangest of ways.

My mom texted me while she was at work tonight and it made me aware of just how much I missed her. I haven't been home in a while. I miss my family. My parents are coming up next Friday to see me give my presentation at the symposium, but I think I would really like a chance to hang out with them in more than a "let's-make-small-talk-over-the-vegetarian-lasagne" kind of way.

My plans for the summer are many and varied. I have summer classes across both sessions, so I won't be hurting for homework. I would also like to spend part of the summer working on a couple of papers I wrote this semester -- for Huck Finn and Beloved -- that my American Studies professor said would make good candidates for publication. I also have a short story that I wrote, well, a few semesters ago, that I should probably dust off to see if I can get any nibbles. And, of course, another_myself is coming for a visit in July! So little to do, and so much time! Wait. Strike that -- reverse it.

Deception made me as I am.

I had absolutely no idea how expensive it was to be a bridesmaid! I went into town today to pay off the deposit on a bridesmaid's dress for this summer wedding I'm in, and between the deposit and the alterations (what's a bustle and, more to the point, why do I need one?) I'm plunking down a chunk of cash to look pretty for a couple of hours. The bridal shower is tomorrow, so I went to Bed Bath & Beyond afterward to pick up a gift. I ended up buying them a clock radio they can use in the shower (in the event that they somehow manage to fall asleep while standing up in the shower or something) and a picture frame. The picture frame is for the shower and the clock radio is for the wedding itself, but Bed Bath & Beyond does complimentary gift-wrapping for all bridal registry purchases, and they wrapped both gifts in two boxes that are the same size and shape, so it's impossible to tell one apart from the other without shaking them. I guess whichever gift goes out tomorrow will be kind of a surprise to us both. Then, of course, I had to go to Target to get a card, whereupon I got the card and managed to find the one hat in the universe that doesn't make me look like an idiot:



'Got back to the apartment and received a phone call from my mom (♥), who gave me some bad news about my dog, Chloe. She was born with bad kidneys but you would never know it, because she is absolutely the sweetest, most adorable dog on the planet -- full of energy, always loving, the sweetest little soul. Apparently she stopped eating and drinking a couple of weeks ago. My parents took her to the vet and were told that she is now in Stage 4 kidney failure. My parents have been giving her IV treatments the last couple of weeks and that has helped. My mom said that she has started to get her appetite back (she ate an entire Arby's Roast Beef sandwich last night, bun and all) and when my brother came home to visit this weekend, she flipped her stuff because she was so happy to see him. As of today, she is doing well. My parents will continue the IV treatments for as long as she responds to them, but it is very likely that she will not make it to Christmas. It's hard. You want to hang on to your pets, but you don't want them to suffer, either. My mom said that she and my dad have been doing a lot of crying lately, but this news has also made them appreciate every day Chloe gets to spend with them. I guess, in the end, that's what it's all about. Still -- if you think of it, please keep Chloe and my family in your thoughts.

I think there is more Witchblade and Who in my immediate future.