the clouds are far behind me.

I just wanted to update to let everyone know that I'm doing much better today. Deciding (after eight or so years) to come off of my medication was no easy task -- the withdrawl symptoms are an experience that I would not wish on anyone. But, after some emotional/psychological conditioning (along with a great deal of support from you guys), I find myself feeling more like myself than I have in years. I think that, to a certain degree, being on the medication was numbing me to the world around me. Now I feel like things are finally coming into focus; as if a veil has been lifted from my eyes. Where a year ago I would be ashamed and fearful of crying, I now welcome the ability to experience an emotional catharsis. I have new hope. A new outlook. I'm still struggling with the physical ramifications of going off Paxil, but am comforted in the fact that they will only last a short while longer. The emotional freedom that will follow -- that is already occuring -- far outweighs the rigors that I'm currently experiencing. Pain and discomfort are temporary. Hope endures.

I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for the support you've shown me in this difficult time. You cannot imagine how spiritually reassuring it is to know that I am not alone out there. I used to be afraid of confronting the person I would be without the medication, but now I welcome her back with open arms. I'm still me. No amount of fear or dosage can change that. I think of this new year (and subsequent freedom from medication dependency) as a chance to explore my potential and nurture my spiritual self. I could not have reached that epiphany without the love and support of my friends (especially curlygurrl, _canadiansun, and fadedluthien). So, from the bottom of my rediscovered heart, I thank you.

*hugs all*