katernater: (movie • (tech))
My shoulder is nearly back to normal, thank god. It was a rough weekend. I thought I was doing better on Saturday but midway through the evening I turned my head a particular way and felt something pop again; I managed to drive to the store to pick up a heating pad and a bottle of extra strength pain reliever. I've been doing a series of stretches with it every morning and every night before I go to sleep and I've pretty much decided that I've not torn anything. Not irreparably, anyway. It seems to get better the more I use it, and the only time that it really gives me any grief is when I wake up in the morning. In any event I skipped yoga on Saturday and gave myself another day off from the gym today. I might go back for Zumba tomorrow, depending on how it feels. At this point, I'm so relieved it's not as bad as it was on Saturday. My mom was worried I'd torn a rotator cuff, which freaked me out a little because she's a nurse and I'm nowhere near as cognizant of how my body works as I should be. And because our conversations about the injury almost always devolved into her thinking that I might have permanently crippled myself and me imagining my future as a one-armed panhandler who sells picture post cards and flattens pennies between her back molars for tips.

Panhandling future averted. For now.

I'm making slow but steady progress on The Transformation of Things. The details of the story change in my head from day to day but I have a pretty good idea of the overall plot, and think I will be ready to start outlining in the next couple of weeks. What really lets me know I'm on the right track is the fact I've set up an iTunes playlist and have started adding songs to it that I think fit the mood/characters of the novel. So far there's a lot of Muse, Pulp, and Michael Giacchino on there. And this stage of the writing process is my favourite, because it's the beginning and you're generally optimistic about everything and every idea is a good idea. It's like going to the grocery store when you haven't eaten anything; everything looks and sounds good and you must have it all.

I think I'm going to continue my trend of retiring a bit early with an episode of The West Wing and a book. I'm about halfway though Anno Dracula and President Bartlet just creamed Governor Ritchie in the presidential debate. If this show had corporeal form, I'd marry it.
katernater: (thrones • (winter))
Back from hiatus and, though I have not been actively posting here, I have been following my friends' page and trying to keep up with everything that's been happening ([livejournal.com profile] farstepper, I'm looking at you in particular and sending best wishes for a speedy recovery). So far, what I have been able to ascertain is that a new X-Men movie came out and more than half of you are excited about it, and the other half of you are watching Game of Thrones (which I am excited about), but that no matter who you are or what you're watching, you all find James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender incredibly attractive. I have not been able to get out to see X-Men: First Class yet, mostly because I am not really sure where the theater in this town is located. And because I still feel weird about going to see movies by myself. The only two movies I've seen on my own have been Iron Man and Thor (while I was home for the last term break) and that was okay because the chances of me running into someone I knew were rather slim back home. Here, I'm paranoid that I'm going to go to the theater and there's going to be a whole crowd of my students there, and I will have to explain why it's not weird for a twenty-seven-year-old woman to go to the theater by herself to watch Professor X and Magneto try to get into each other's X-suits.

My refrigerator has not been refrigerating lately. I've had a bunch of food go off because the temperature hasn't been low enough to keep things fresh. And, get this, my brain has been in such a state lately that I've actually thought I was faking myself out about it. Like, there's no way that this fridge couldn't be refrigerating; it has to be my imagination. But after I bought fresh strawberries and they went off a few days later, I knew I had to make a call. I got in touch with maintenance while I was at work this afternoon and by the time I got home they had installed a brand new refrigerator. They had even arranged all of my stuff in the new one! I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to drink water that is not room temperature.

I guess the whole refrigerator problem is indicative of how things have been going for me lately. Not that I'm falling behind or freaking out, but there just seems to be a lot more pressure riding on this term than there was before. I've started waking up in the wee small hours of the morning with ideas for lesson plans. When my alarm goes off I can't remember them. To my credit, I'm taking more responsibility and initiative than I have in the past. At work and in class, I want to make sure that I am on target with the expectations of the program so I have been checking in more than usual, making sure that my superiors are aware of the trajectory of my class and my impressions of problematic students. All of this cross-checking and attention to minutia wears me down though, and by the end of the week I'm pretty much good for nothing but a good collapse into bed. At the same time I'm making a conscious effort to break out of my comfort zone by saying "yes" to outside activities that would usually put me off. This weekend, for instance, the school is taking a trip to an amusement park. I think I might go, if only to chaperone. I haven't been on a rollercoaster since high school. It's so weird, because I like to think of myself as this gregarious, outgoing person a lot of the time but there are just so many occasions when I fall back on seclusion rather than take a risk by going out with other people. I'm trying to train myself to not immediately shut down when invited to do things; I'm twenty-seven and I have been "safe" for a lot of my life. Not that I'm signing up for recklessness lessons or anything, but I don't want to look back on my life in ten years and regret not making the effort to go out and do things.

After work I went to get my hair cut for the summer. They took off about two-and-a-half inches of length, added some layers and framed my face. I think it looks pretty good. It also felt kind of like a transition exercise: getting rid of something heavy and old in order to be lighter, different. There are so many signs of change around me that I felt like a physical manifestation of that change would help me to accept it more readily.

Plus, if I fluff it out I've kind of got a 'Joan Jett' thing goin' on.

I am also making a conscious effort to take better care of myself, physically. I have begun an exercise regimen and started watching my diet. I am already feeling better. If I can manage the physical I feel like it will be a gateway to understanding the emotional and the psychological. Ultimately, I've got to be proactive in my own life. I have to trust myself and my instincts, allow myself to have emotions and to get frustrated when I'm frustrated. I've been reading a lot more. Praying a lot more. Singing and dancing a lot more. And I'm doing it for myself. The process is incremental and a lot of the time it seems I'm no further along the path to understanding myself than I was a year or two ago. But I'm getting there. I don't think I'll ever fully understand why I am the way that I am, but I hope to be able to find peace with that person and that I will come to love myself for who I am. It's been a long time since I've been able to do that.
katernater: (sherlock • (mycroft))
I'm still feeling a bit under the weather. This cold -- or flu, or whatever it is -- has staying power. I've also been listening to an inordinate amount of dance music lately (that Ray Parker, Jr./Lady GaGa mash-up is a thing of beauty), to the extent where I'm starting to wonder if it's a post hoc, ergo propter hoc-type situation. Is dance music truly only tolerable when you're in a fever delirium?

Here's that icon meme that's always making the rounds. [livejournal.com profile] antiquitea chose five of my user icons and asked me to explain why I have them/what they mean to me. If you'd like me to choose five of your icons, leave a comment to this post and I will dance dance dance be glad to pigeon-hole you according to five 100x100 snippets of personality.

My icons -- cut to spare your FLs )
katernater: (doctor who • (reboot))
My Doctor Who DVDs arrived in the mail today and I made sure that I finished all of my homework before dinner, so I could spend the rest of the night watching them. Except now -- because I've mostly given up any kind of soda/caffeinated beverages -- "the rest of the night" is starting to feel like it's got a 9:30 cut-off point. Wow.

The soda hiatus is one part of a larger plan to drink/eat/be more healthy. Seriously cutting back on my soda consumption (from three or four 12 oz. cans a day to one or none at all) has been tough, especially since cracking open a can was usually the first thing I did in the morning. I'm drinking more water, taking a multi-vitamin, monitoring my calorie intake, managing my snacks, and even getting in a little bit of exercise when weather permits. I know it will take a few weeks to see any visible changes, but I'm already feeling better. It's just so easy to get busy and forget to take care of myself; I need to make a preemptive strike against that kind of behavior. Especially now, when things in my life are about to change in a big way, I need to make sure that I am healthy enough to take on any challenges I need to face. Still: so sleepy, oh so sleepy.

Today would have been Carl Sagan's 76th birthday. Happy birthday, Carl Sagan!

Photobucket
katernater: (amber (s4) // Straight towards the sun)
Obama sets date to end Iraq Combat Mission

I got chills. Of course, it's not going to be easy. My dad was talking about how the Joint Chiefs are skittering their toes at the edge of the idea, and that there might need to be a 50,000 troop retainer to "keep the peace", but this is the first time since the "conflict" began that I feel we've got some real answers about when the troops can come home. I remain cautiously optimistic.

And I'm feeling much better today. I don't think I caught the cold in time for the zinc tablets to do much good, but I've been stacking a combo of anti-cold medication and vitamin C for the last twenty-four hours and today is the first day that I can sense a real shift in the way I feel. It probably helped that I got nine hours of sleep last night. And that I let a little pressure out of my tires because I'm on Spring Break for the next two weeks. I've still got a lot to do for class, but I'll spread it out over the holiday and try not to get too wrapped up with the underlying stress. 'Filled out my FAFSA application this morning, too, so that's a load off.

Today? I'm taking it easy. Todd and I went out and rented movies last night, and I've got Malice and The Librarian: Quest for the Spear waiting for me. YES, I AM A NERD, WHY DO YOU ASK?

Blerg.

Feb. 24th, 2009 08:50 pm
katernater: (tired (c) // The weight of the world)
I tink I'm gedding a cowd.
katernater: (house (s4) // These crowded streets)
Does anyone have any quick, surefire remedies for preventing the onset of a migraine? I sat down at my computer a couple minutes ago and realized that the middle of the screen had been whited out, which means that potassium ions are whizzing across the surface of my brain with nothing to connect to, which means a migraine is barreling down the track toward me. I've taken two Tylenol and had a couple of those small holiday chocolates (I've heard that chocolate and caffeine are useful to some people when combating a migraine). And seeing as I can't really turn off all the lights nand have a lie-down, I'm stuck looking for quick, palliative remedies.

Any suggestions? You know, other than, "Stop staring at your bright computer monitor waiting for responses, you stupid git."
katernater: (goof (h) // You picked the wrong species)
I love this book so much that I want to go to bed with it and maybe slap it around a little (but only if it's cool with that).

I saw a woman with one of those Kindle wireless reading devices at the doctor's office the other day. I think those things take some of the fun out of reading. Me, I like to be physical with my books. I like to carry them around in my purse, bend back their spines, dog-ear their corners, and write my name on the inside cover. And there's that "book perfume" -- the smell of pages -- that's practically a pheromone. You don't get any of that with a Kindle. Of course, I was among the first in line to pooh-pooh the idea of a physical newspaper in favour of Web-based editions because they were, "so much more convenient." Because I am already pressed for time when I am not looking up videos of a cat opening a jar of peanuts. Right.

[livejournal.com profile] msconduct asked me to expand on the Anne Geddes Poster Incident from my last post. The clinic is the walk-in sort, so you can only imagine the odd lot of people in the waiting room at any given time. As such, each exam room is designed to be as neutral looking as possible -- taupe walls, floors the colour of used Wrigley's sticks -- with a couple of pops of colour in the medical posters on the backs of the doors. The room the nurse put me in was obviously used for pediatric consults because there was this giant, sun-faded Anne Geddes poster on the wall. I actually tried to find a picture of it online, but it's probably been discontinued due to the creep factor. The poster features a bunch of babies showcasing letters of the alphabet, some in various stages of undress (the babies, not the letters) lying on top of vegetables. Typical Anne Geddes fare.

I was left alone with it while the nurse went to get the equipment to draw blood and when she came back, I mentioned that I thought Anne Geddes' photography was always a little weird and that I couldn't see how they got the babies to look that docile in the first place. The nurse sort of sighed and shook her head. "I did my downstairs bathroom in Anne Geddes," she told me, "before my husband asked me to redecorate." I asked her why. She hesitated, snapping the end of the tourniquet a couple of times, very uncomfortable. "He told me he could never have a bowel movement when he was in there. He said it was too weird."

True facts.

So, there you go, [livejournal.com profile] msconduct. In the end, it all comes down to a poop joke.

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